Featuring Guest Georgetown Running Back Robbie Jones

November 24th, 2003





Radio Show Transcript 11/24/03



Robbie_Jones walks into the studio, sits down, and waits to be grilled.

Mark: "Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Mark Madden with Talkback. This afternoon's guest is none other than Georgetown's up and coming Running Back, New Zealander Robbie Jones. Thank you for being with us, Robbie."

Robbie_Jones: "Thanks for having me here, Mark.

Mark: "So, let's get right down to the gridiron, shall we?"

Robbie Jones: "Sure.. if you want... pity ‘bout your Pitt boys crashing today to Miami, by the way, Mark…"

Mark: "Anything to deflect attention off your mediocre season and your pathetic social life of late, right, Robbie? Let's talk about those."

Robbie Jones: "Mediocre season? What you call 10 td’s for a season, including an NCAA season high of five in game?"

Mark: "Oh come now, you want to gloss over your massive downfall after your tart of the week.... uh... (Madden checks his notes) Jessica, was it? No last name?… Up and dumped you 6 weeks into the Fall Semester? Numbers don't lie, son. You weren't on game for over a month. The public watched your humiliating tumble over a girl you hardly knew."

Robbie Jones: You read those numbers, you see my game improved after I got  dumped, and I would like to see you come back from serious injury."

Mark: "I don't think your body was the only thing injured there, Sport-O... Not after reading your Weatherston interview about your new gay lover, singer Kailian Abyssinian of the Hush Piano Bar."

Robbie Jones: "That's low, even for you... but yes, I am bisexual, and yes, I had a short stand with Kailian."

Mark: "So, your fellow players don't have any paranoia about you watching their asses instead of the ball?"

Robbie_Jones: "I don't know, maybe you should ask them, but they know that come game time, I'm 100% on the game, and my personal life is left off the field."

Mark: "Since when?"

Robbie Jones: "Since I told half the team, in a team meeting before our last three games, and our play increased dramatically."

Mark: "Maybe some of the other Georgetown players will be calling in to our show this afternoon to comment to that. So, you were considering leaving Georgetown for good, what's up with that? And you stayed for a girl you barely knew a month before she ditched?"

Robbie Jones: "Yeah, three schools approached me prior to the season start. Miami, Oklahoma and your beloved Pittsburgh, and, well, I guess that the babes in DC keep me there... mind you, there are no babes at Pitt anyway."

Mark: "That's very true, we've seen those steel-working women. So, you're just here for the sex then, really? Doesn't matter what the best team is to you? Monica, honey, are you still free? You listening?"

Robbie Jones: "Winning means a lot to me... maybe since I returned to doing what I know best and stopped chasing skirt, I found my form again... and any time you get 75% player turn over due to graduations, red shirts and injuries, you gonna struggle, and unlike you at Pitt, we don't buy talent."

Mark: "You've stopped chasing skirt, have you?"

Robbie Jones: "I cut down on my social life, yes."

Mark: "Not that you've had much luck keeping it. So, why did Jessica leave you? She quit school entirely to get away from you, in fact."

Robbie Jones: "Least I can find my manhood without needing a mirror."

Mark: "That's more a genetics issue. Speaking of race issues, have you heard anything more from the White Knights?"

Robbie Jones: "As far as I know, the police have a few leads on them, and 'til then, I can't say much."

Mark: "Do you have anything to say to them out there in radio land right now? Up yours, bring it on? Anything like that?"

Robbie Jones: "What, you want me to sprout some inflammatory remark to save your Hawaiian shirt belly ratings... all I gotta say is, that in the end, they gotta answer to the judgment of God himself, for I have forgiven them."

Mark: "No, I'm giving you a much needed chance to say something to them and save your fraying ego and pride. According to you, these clowns screwed up a large chunk of your season and they're still roaming free. Or, are you afraid to stand up to them after they bested you in the locker room? In fact, I dare one of you gutless wanna-be Nazi's to call into the show and quit hiding in the shadows like a bunch of white sheet sissies."

Robbie Jones: "A man need not have a closed fist to be a man... as J.C. once said, turn the other cheek and you are the bigger man; or, in your case, eat another cream bun..."

Mark: "Yeah, coming from mister 'I was abused as a kid, so I'm getting my violence out now' Jones? That's a good one. Have you even walked your own walk yet, Robbie? When's the last time you said you would kick someone's ass, a week ago? Or are you gone all Jesus on us now? Are you a born again Christian Robbie? And what do you think Jesus would say about Kailian, and Jessie, and that Russian girl, and poor, poor dead Karissa... who certainly made a lot of friends besides you in the weeks before she died..."

Robbie_Jones: "You're jealous, Mark.  You're jealous that I have a future; all you do is bask in your boom time in wrestling... me. my life ain't been a bed of roses. All in all, I use the past to lead me to the future."

Mark: "Yeah Robbie, I wanna be just like you... I figure, if I pork a white socialite a week, throw in a fag on the side to cover both ends, and use my race as a crutch to justify what is, let's face it, a less than stellar season, given your freshman year, and you're slacking off now... Absolutely, I aspire to that, I mean, (laughs) who wouldn't? It's the American dream."

Robbie Jones: "You said it... yet you know nothing Mark... I ain't no saint, and I aim to try and do some good for the people of New Zealand... Oh, and Mark, I do hope you enjoy the probation your beloved Pitt will be on after I reveal about the money offered me to jump ship."

Mark: "How is racking up landing lights on your jockstrap furthering New Zealand?"

Robbie Jones: "How is being a angry white man with no sex life helping college football?"

Mark: "Hey, I have a sex life; I just don't brag about it in interviews to beef up attention I wasn't otherwise getting. My career is doing just fine, or you wouldn't have a radio show to come on to, now, would you."

Robbie Jones: "According to Nielsen,  Mark, you slipping... and, if I recall, you called me to come visit you."

Mark: "You wanna do New Zealand a big favor, buddy boy? Keep your Johnson in your pants a little more, and get back to the game you had last year; that was something to brag on. Let's face it; you hit the States, and you figured no one knows you, you can cut loose here and be an animal and no one would notice. Boy, were you ever wrong! Actually, my agent suggested it only because you're having your 15 minutes after the Weatherston exposé."

Robbie Jones: "Not because the Penguins banned their players from coming here, after you trashed young Joel Porter in high school football?"

Mark: "Oh, like he hadn't earned it? Maybe he can use you as a role model, and sleep his way to the NFL one day, hm? I mean, friggin' come on... How many perfectly healthy kids are sad and left out every year, and who the hell does jack and crap for them, huh? Boo Hoo, little Joel is sad. Get a helmet!"

Robbie Jones: "You just a sick, sad little Wahini, Mark... You said you wished to discuss international players in the NCAA... I guess that players mean people you think you can bully."

Mark: "We talk about whatever is relevant, and I think your history shows that your personal life has a direct impact on your game. But bringing up a bunch of politically correct twist-o journalism isn't going to deflect our callers from what they really want to know."

Robbie Jones: "And what do the callers want to know? You seem to (expletive deleted) racking. I doubt if all two listeners have had the chance to answer."

Mark: "Uh... Robbie, do try to keep up. We haven't opened the phone banks yet. Maybe if your debutante of the week hadn't screwed out your last brain cell, you would be more with it."

Robbie Jones: "Well, sorry for being too fast to your cream donut filled fat belly... Oh, and how is your friend Hulk Hogan this weekend?"

Mark: "So, why is it you don't date any girls from home? Or, is this the white girl trophy thing? And white boy while we're at it. Well, while YOU are at it. I ain't into all that."

Robbie Jones: "So I been with males... after doing it under my choice, for once, I discovered it ain't me, yet it is part of my life, so I gotta accept it."

Mark: "Really... So it's okay to just get off and throw another person away like a used condom... which I hope you did; AIDS statistics have skyrocketed in the gay community again this year... But, since it wasn't a girl, it's all right to do that to a fellow man? Well, almost a man..."

Robbie Jones: "That's rich, coming from you, Mark 'I slept with Lex Luger's daughter to get the guy a title shot' Madden; and how old was she, again... 19-20?"

Mark: "At least she was legal, Jones... Your boyfriend wasn't, did you know that? And it's Mr. Madden to you, boy."

Robbie Jones: "Hey, he was in a nightclub when we met, so maybe I should talk to the Web about poor security."

Mark: "They let you in didn't they? (*snickers*) So are you the father of that Russian girl's baby? I notice not long after you two split up, she quit school knocked up."

Robbie Jones: "They have a system where under 21's are given stamps and allowed in for bands and the such, but the stamps prevent you from ordering alcohol."

Mark: "So in other words, you're using that as an excuse as well. Did you at least know his last name before you slipped him the sausage? Or were you the tight end for that game?"

Robbie Jones: "Maybe after the show I can show you... but I don't know why I wasted my time coming down for this crap... you assure coach Benson that you were gonna ask serious questions, but all you done is bagged me for my private life..."

Mark: "I didn't even talk to Benson, he's too busy planning his retirement riding on your fame. So, what do you want to talk about then, Mister serious questions? Let's talk ball then. The pigskin kind, I'm sure you know the difference."

Robbie Jones: "Easy. Why the hell has Pitt allowed its two golden boys in Lazarus and Schmidt to walk away to Oklahoma for next year, and why the hell are they going around trying to buy a good team?"

Mark: "Why do I need you on here to talk about that? Do you want to talk about your game, your career, or have we already exhausted the meager significance it's gonna ever have and you're just stalling for more media attention?"

Robbie Jones: "My game... you said,  and I quote, 'If Jones even scores two TDs in a game this year, I will stop the coconut head comments on my broadcasts,' and that was before the Leyton Slaughter."

Mark: "Have I said Coconut ONCE on this show? What, that's old news already. What else ya' got?"

Robbie Jones: "No, but you knocked the week after the 5 TDs, saying it was a miracle that a coconut lover like me was even able to read."

Mark: "You are taking the easy jock classes at a very prestigious institution that other kids worked their asses off to get into... You want to say you're pulling your academic weight, Mister 'my GPA hasn't had a 3 in front of it since I hit the Americas'?"

Robbie Jones: "Easy classes... S(expletive deleted), I like to see you try archaeology, paleontology and advanced economics business management."

Mark: "Really? Aren't you taking those pass-fail to meet coach requirements?"

Robbie Jones: "And I am meeting the terms of my scholarship, grades-wise."

Mark: "What great treasures have you discovered, Doctor Jones, other than the inside of Karissa Banchi's thighs? Though that is long plowed territory."







Robbie Jones: "I fail one subject and my scholarship is revoked... the Highway Foundation set high marks and I am meeting them, and the best thing I found so far is your little sister... she was so sweet, and said I was 1000 times the man you were."

Mark: "I don't screw my sister, pal; maybe that crap washes back in jungle land, but not here."

Robbie Jones: "Jungle land... Hey,  maybe I touched a raw nerve, or you just a closet racist who cant admit that his gravy train is over."

Mark: (Madden hands Robbie a photo and article from the Washington Post, depicting Karissa Banchi and stripper Gabby Wildwood lap dancing in Web of Night.) "This was taken a week before she died, Jones. Were you watching? The typical male fantasy, a bisexual girlfriend? That was the picture the Post couldn't print, but that whole club got an eyeful of your goodies."

Robbie Jones: "You jealous that you got rejected by Ms. Wildwood, Markie?"

Mark: "I wouldn't touch that piece of chewed gum with Tom Campbell's Willie. You're just getting sloppy seconds; yeah, I envy that a lot. So, you're the one taking it into the gutter this time; I was talking Football a minute ago, last we looked. So, get back to it then."

Robbie Jones: "Hey, your the sportsman writer. Come on and ask me some football questions... if you got any."

Mark: "Fair enough, let's talk shop... What's the deal with the Awesome Foursome this year? You got You... Simms... Paulus and Kirkman. Last year, you were a force to be reckoned with, and this year it's like you guys can't get on the same page half the time; has the magic died in that, or can we look forward to a revitalization in the Spring?"

Robbie Jones: "I think this year we didn't click... me and Kirkman missed the preseason... me with the stab wounds, and Kirk with ankle injury,  and from there we were playing catch up, and losing three of our offensive line in the first month to NCAA violations hurt."

Mark: "So, is this recoverable, or are the Four Horsemen of the Hoya's Apocalypse a memory?"

Robbie Jones: "Next year, it's make or break for us, what with Paulus and K-man both finishing up, but we hope that, with the addition of Tyron Peterson from Pitt CC, and Al Yanski from out west into our offensive line, we will be the same four horsemen you saw last year."

Mark: "You think you and Peterson can get past all your energy about Pitt?"

Robbie Jones: "What energy... I just think it's weird that the number one ranked linesman has to go outta state to play DIV 1 ball."

Mark: "Maybe it is... But can you and the Polish kid get as tight as the fearsome four were?"

Robbie Jones: "I reckon yes... he got a great first step... and he is faster then Kirkman over 40 yards... so, with luck, we will return to the mean machine 4 play style."

Mark: "We look forward to it... And now, let's open up the phones to our loyal listeners, shall we? You're up on TalkBack... Hello? Our first caller is... Stevie, you're on the air."

Stevie: "Mark, I was just wondering what you would say if Robbie was to transfer to Pitt for next year?"

Mark: "Well now, Stevie, are your feet cold there?"

Stevie: "No, but anything is possible... just look at last year,  when Jones broke records galore."

Mark: "I dunno... Robbie... What could convince you to go Pitt and leave the Hoyas behind?"

Robbie Jones: "Um... to leave the Hoyas... to be honest, nothing... I have my support network in DC, and I don't see Father Jackson moving up there."

Mark: "Yet, you were courting offers at the end of last year, and only a girl made you reconsider. Have things healed so quickly with you and Coach Benson?"

Robbie Jones: "Yes, we have... we sat down and spoke about the future after Pitt, Miami and Oklahoma started their sales pitches."

Mark: "So I don't know, Stevie... I'd be pretty shocked, especially after his earlier comments today about Pitt... I guess we'll cross that bridge when it happens... Thanks... Next caller, you're on Talk-Back!"

Brian: "Mark, this is Brian Moylan of the Washington Blade."

Mark: "The What?"

Brian: "You heard me, Sister. The Washington Blade. Don't tell me you've never heard of it."

Mark: "No, actually, I haven't. What is the Washington Blade? Some kind of vigilante group? Like the White Knights?"

Brian: "We're DC's voice for the alternate sexuality community. And I just want to say, on the behalf of all our staff down here, DAMN! It's good to see someone in sports with the guts to come out."

Mark: "So, Mr. Moylan, you are in support of Robbie's assertion of his bisexuality then?"

Brian: "Are you saying that you aren't, Mr. Madden?"

Mark: "I think you're taking the typical politically correct road of prostituting what is clearly the stereotypical college experimental phase, and turning him into your new poster boy to flog your lifestyle."

Brian: "An interesting choice of words, there, Markie. Flog... prostitution... poster-BOY... Why don't you just say what you REALLY think?"

Mark: "Always do, my friend; now, unless you have some constructive questions for our guest, we're moving on..."

Brian: "Here's something constructive. His play's improved since he came out to his teammates and to himself. If that's not a case for openness improving people that even your narrow mind can comprehend, I don't know what is."

Mark: "Robbie, would you attribute your turn around in performance as a direct result of your announcing that you are bisexual to your team and coach? And where does that put the other pressures you spoke about... The girls, the stabbing, the shady childhood coming back to haunt you... Does this one night with some entertainer eclipse all that?"

Robbie_Jones: "I think that coming to grips with everything that has happened to me has helped me in improve this year. And also, finding some closure with my family helped a bit."

Brian: "So what you're saying, Robbie, is that maybe it hasn't been everything about your improvement, but it's been a measurable part?"

Mark: "So this is really not the end all, be all cornerstone of your career struggle at all. You would disagree with Mr. Moylan's assessment of your personal life?"

Robbie Jones: "So, yes in a way, admitting to the team that I had slept with a male, I guess allowed me to play football with the players knowing the truth and not hearing lies in the papers."

Mark: "All right then, there you have it, Thank you Mr. Moylan. Thank you for calling TalkBack, you're up next, hello, hello, hello?"

Billy Ray Bob: "Mark, why the hell do you letting some little colored queer on your show... I tell you he is a disease that should be sent back home."

Mark: "The same reason the Nurses let you near a telephone, Bob. Up the dosage, cracker head. Next?" 

Michael: "This is Michael Banchi."

Mark: "I love it when these Rush Limbagh Ass kissin' zombies think that being a pig is what truth radio is all about... Hello? Good afternoon Michael. What's your question?"

Michael: "My question is, very simply, why this discussion of my deceased daughter and whether she slept with this young black gentleman, which I doubt, continues to arise in a conversation supposedly devoted to sports."

Mark: "Who was your daughter, Michael? I mean, there's obviously been several young ladies involved with Mr. Jones."

Michael: "Karissa Banchi."

Robbie Jones: "Mr. Banchi, I can assure you that I never slept with your daughter... She was a very important person in my life, yet the white knights made sure that we had no chance at happiness... and I grieve deeply for your daughter's death."

Mark: "Ahhhhhhhhh. Well, according to the picture right in front of me here, I think black men were the least of her problems; she seemed pretty enthusiastic about strippers as well. Female ones. Now Mr. Banchi, we're not here to baby-sit... if your daughter had trouble keeping her knickers on down here, don't call and make it our problem, kapiche?"

Michael: "Can you have no respect for the dead, Mr. Madden? Or is even that beyond you?"

Mark: "As Robbie said, it matters to him; it deeply affected his game. Where the hell were you when she died, Sir? Up in your Oil mansion? Your daughter did not respect herself. You and your MTV Generation parenting taught her that. Wake the hell up!"

Michael: "And you are teaching respect on this show, with your crass remarks and your inability to discuss anything that isn't crude, lascivious, or generally filthy? Of course you are, Mr. Madden. Good night."

Mark: "Well Mr. Banchi, I hope you and your trophy wife are sleeping soundly in your Buffalo mansion, telling yourselves there is nothing wrong with ignoring your kids and expecting society to raise them. Next, on Talk-Back, hello?"

Paulus: "Yeah this Devon Paulus... One of the Awesome Foursome, Mark,  and all I gotta say is, that TT, we got your back and the boys don't care what you do in your bedroom, as long as when you go skirt-chasing we can come, bro."

Mark: "ell, Good evening Mr. Paulus, good to have you on the show. And good to see some solidarity in the Awesome Foursome. So how do you feel about losing two of your own this coming Spring?"

Paulus: "It happens... but the future is secure... we got three of the top five high school prospects coming, and we also been able to pick up one or two community college transfers, so maybe the awesome foursome can become a super six in the future."

Mark: "Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. So, what do you think is in the future for you guys this Spring?"

Paulus: "We got one more shot for a bowl next year, so who knows... All or nothing next year, and I am proud for the kid to have stayed at the Hoyas after the season he had last year... true display of the real TT."

Mark: "Excellent; Robbie, you have anything to add?"

Robbie_Jones: "What can I say... thanks for the support, Dev, and bro, sorry to say, but no more skirt chasing... I gotta grow up a bit."

Mark: "Thank you for calling, Mr. Paulus, we look forward to seeing you guys play. Next on TalkBack, Hello?"

Tyrese: "Hey... This is Tyrese, from Anacostia."

Mark: "Good afternoon Tyrese, what is your question?"

Tyrese: "Just wanna say, Robbie, man, you're an inspiration to a lotta us kids startin' out with nothin' but a little talent, and if you've got any advice for some o' us that are comin' up from the streets?"

Mark: "Robbie... What would you say to those inner city kids out there who look at you and think they can do it, too?"

Robbie_Jones: "Easy. Keep your nose clean, and never give up, and if you get a chance to legally get outta the gutter and the streets, take it... Don't take the sleazy easy way out by peddling crack, or whore... if you got talent and you want it bad enough, it will come out."

Mark: "What high school do you go to, Tyrese?"

Tyrese: "Anacostia High."

Mark: "You a senior?"

Tyrese: "Junior this year."

Mark: "You take your SAT's yet, son?"

Tyrese: "Not yet, man..."

Mark: "Anything else you want to add, either of you?"

Robbie Jones: "Study hard, Bro, and just keep the faith, and if you get into college... don't piss the chance away, study and learn what you can... exercise both the mind and the body."

Tyrese: "A'ight man... You're the s(beep)... Aww damn. can't say that on the radio, can I. Well, go kick it this Saturday, bro."

Mark: "Sound advice for anyone, thanks for calling, Tyrese. Last caller on today's Talk Back, you're on the air! Hello? Ok we're out of time... Thank you Robbie Jones, and this is Mark Madden with Radio Talk Back, see you next week!"