IC News 9-15-03

Who's News In Media, by Kitty Whittier

DEATH BE NOT PROUD... Especially after you've seen yourself in this new video by shock rocker Marx Ingels, bass player for Arcane Knights gone solo act. While certainly I can be as objective about art as the next critic, this new homage is a breed apart, though what breed I am not sure, and I think it needs rabies shots. 

Herr Angel was on Fox News last week, discussing the controversy already surrounding his video, entitled "Exquisite Corpse: Death of an Angel." Portions of the show received a parental guidance warning from the FCC as he highlighted a couple of clips from the video, which depict Ingels in numerous graphic scenes, including far too realistically simulated torture and necrophilia vignettes with an unnamed young actress in the video who portrays an angel of death. Several stations have labeled the work as  "pornographic" already, only contributing to its rising notoriety. 

The controversial piece is still under debate as to whether MTV Networks will even show it on late night rotation if at all. Several underground Vampire wannabe clubs are said to be fighting for rights to exclusive premiere, with DC's Web of Night, Philadelphia's Nocturne at Shampoo, New York's TerrorSex Cabaret and Baltimore's Nevermore all in the final running. I think I will be running too, safely far away from this. Though, shock rock fans are going to eat this up...

CUTTING OFF YOUR NOSE TO SPIKE YOUR FACE... Or looking a gift horse in the mouth. I really should let well enough alone that a certain other pint-sized shock rocker, unlike her former bass player, has been blissfully well-behaved and quiet, but then again that is our dirty little guilty pleasure, watching the antics of her and her playmates du jour, n'est-ce pas? It just seems so strange to me, knowing how much this Britney Spears with a cross and wooden stake eats up the press, that she and her bedmate Monsieur Billy Bloody are keeping under the radar. How not like you both! Tsk, whatever will we read over our Venti Mocha Fraps this week without you? We just don't want to miss the wedding of the year. Oh, wait, that was last year. Except, it never happened. Or, did it? One would ask... if you were ever around...

STOLEN SOUTHERN COMFORT... In one of those wrong place, right time moments, a small camera crew covering a prostitution story down in Southeast a few weeks back slipped us some footage that was a bit of an eyebrow elevator. 

While on surveillance at the rather seedy Comfort Inn across the street, crews happened to catch a glimpse of a somewhat familiar figure exiting the hotel at around 4-5 am, bidding an affectionate goodbye to a second figure. One of the cameramen, a bit of a football buff, recognized the first figure as Georgetown's Running Back and Draft Pick Robbie Jones of New Zealand, and turned the cameras to the door just in time to catch the pair bidding adieu. The second figure was unclear from across the street, but footage showed was a lithe redhead... though of indeterminate gender. Crews have not been able to ID the second person, so if any of you fans out there know this face, by all means Dew Drop Inn...

WITHER DRAMATIS PERSONAE?... Is it just me or is your humble narratoress the only cat in town who isn't out causing mischief of her own? Just seems like this is not a good week to be other reporters, hm? If they're not outright missing, they're probably wishing they were by now... Seems that two of Miss Kitty's competition, and I do use that term loosely, chers, as protégés would imply I would bother, have gone MIA in recent weeks, being one Caeli Kane and the other Stacey Woods. 

But your fave feline is eternal, have no fear, pets. I have withstood the test of time as Miz Rayne presumed to elevate herself from the ranks into quote serious news unquote, not without some actual writing skill, I will grant you, but darling do remember your roots. I remained steadfast when the elusive Keymore Blaine came onto the scene with a splash trying to unseat me, then just as quickly got reassigned, thank you drive through. I stood by and watched, taking notes of course, the antics of would-be gonzo journo Caeli Kane fall to dust along with her personal life and career, and apparently the little dear has gone into seclusion from the very press that was her sad little life. In fact, a little bird has said she is officially a missing person with DCPD... While certainly having a strange man that no one else can identify but you, that you've been sleeping with behind the back of your other lover(s?), murdered in your very own love nest, could tend to make one neurotic, actually going missing is cause for concern. Hoping this is just more histrionics to nurse along an otherwise insignificant media career.

And speaking of someone who no doubt wishes she was missing right now, did you check out Stacey Woods tripping the light fantastic with none other than black sheep gum heir and porno virtuoso (so we hear), Jack Wrigley, in Web of Night? Now that is something you don't see every day. Usually Stacey is one to COVER a story, not uncover.... well... you do the math. Seems now that she took a walk on the wild side, La Woods is MIA as well, no doubt recovering from après Web activities. Perhaps you and your new toy can work out a deal with the Gabster for a front page spread. So to speak...

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES... But apparently Blondes prefer English muffins these days. Stud muffins, that is. Seems that there's two local  socialites trying to lick their respective wounds with each other lately. Our favorite deb, Ashley Peterson, sans Jamison Fairfield, and amazingly even sans Louis Delacourt, was in Web of Night having eyes for none other that the Gabster's castoff, Loki. And rumour has it, the feeling was mutual. More to come, no doubt, in this saga...

SHE WHO LIVES BY THE WHIP... Seems like, according to some of my more outré contacts, it is not a good time to be a Dominatrix in this town. Supposedly three big-name ladies have gone AWOL in the community without explanation, actually becoming a source of concern for Fetish Club Owners such as Bound in Northeast. Mistresses Doba, Lorelei and Keesha all appear to have vanished from the scene without warning within the last 3-4 months. Now, of course, not everyone can reinvent themselves a la Linda Lovelace and become housewife of the year, but it has been said this is not the route these ladies have taken. Last we were able to piece together, Doba had taken to running with notorious Southeast DC gang The Villynz, Lorelei had gotten involved with an accused Peruvian drug czar, and Keesha retired, though apparently is still in the area somewhere. Wild accusations of conspiracy or serial killers being overlooked by DCPD are running rampant in leather and feather circles, I am told. If anyone can unstrap themselves long enough to ring up and let us know the scoop, please do...

And now my scratching post is quite frayed, so I bid you gentle readers adieu for this week. Always looking for more litter, though -- Please email tips to me at the Washington Post web site. Until next time... -- Kitty Kisses