IC News 11-15-04

LOCAL NEWS

DC Blackout Lifts After Mayor Backs Down on 'Degenerate Cult'  - WASHINGTON, DC — The nation's capital returned to calm—and daylight—this morning, shortly after the mayor retracted his earlier comments that an alternative religion calling itself the Church of Abaddon Ascendant was a "degenerate cult," and further promised to protect the organization from "persecution" by law enforcement agencies.

The crisis began several days ago, when a police raid on the Church of Abaddon Ascendant's newly built temple left 12 churchgoers and four police officers dead. That evening, an anonymous caller reportedly phoned the office of the mayor demanding that he and his officials "bow before the Ebon King who waits."

Immediately thereafter, the city was plunged into inexplicable darkness, touching off bloody riots that continued despite the declaration of martial law and the deployment of National Guard troops, tanks and helicopters, returning the city to conditions far worse than the days following the bombing of the Pentagon. Several hundred local residents are now dead, from various causes related to the blackouts, including traffic accidents, freezing, starvation, lack of medical care, or rampant unchecked murders.

Washington Power and Gas had no explanation for why the grids could not be restored. An investigative sub-committee has been immediately formed by both City and Federal officials to look into the matter.

Schools, Banks and Government buildings were closed until this morning, not only upsetting the DC Metro area but causing chaos around the Western World and Financial Markets from the effects.

Martial Law is still in effect within the City's borders to simply quell the sheer volume of residents clamoring to return to their disheveled homes. Maryland and Virginia were not affected by the blackouts, but were overrun by panicked residents fleeing the city for shelter elsewhere, flooding local hotels and hospitals to capacity. 

Checkpoint barricades were erected at all bridges and entry points to the city, and only legal DC residents and Government or Law Enforcement personnel are being permitted into Washington for today. Lines have jammed streets feeding back into Washington as residents queue up to make their cases to return home. 

Media, both telecom and print, worked round the clock to attempt to keep the public informed, though they never did discover even a purported cause for the blackout.

Anti-Gun groups blamed the rioting in part on the recent lifting of the 27 year old gun laws in DC, claiming that it made it easier for people to commit crimes in a situation such as this.

We were still unable to procure a statement from anyone from the Church of Abaddon Ascendant by press time.

The Blackout of '04 looks positioned to go down in history as a disaster of proportions meeting or exceeding those of 9/11/01.

RUMORS OF MORE "ANGEL" SIGHTINGS AT WEB OF NIGHT AS BLACKOUT BEGAN! - SOUTHEAST - Aside from the obvious chaos ensuing as the most devastating blackout in American history took its toll on the heart of the "Free World", it bears mention that one notable event as the event unfolded was yet another sighting of an Angelic figure, outside Goth Music Club Web of Night in Southeast. The descriptions of the figure, just as the one at the Catholic Cathedral on the Georgetown University campus, reports vary from witnesses, from recalling vividly the experience, to having shady memories, though many agree that this person, whom they describe as having long wavy blonde hair, and fair ivory skin, with flawless features. The figure was said to be floating above the crowd, trying to comfort frightened club goers trapped in the gridlocked mob. Due to sheer lack of manpower, neither police nor the media were able to investigate this matter further at this time. Anyone with more information is asked to come forward to the police.

LOCAL SITES INEXPLICABLY CLEANED - ENVIRONMENTALISTS DENY RESPONSIBILITY -- MIDTOWN DC: In the weeks preceding and even during the recent Blackout, several local landmarks and popular spots, including the Reflecting Pool, several large sections of the Potomac River, numerous deteriorated historic buildings, and small parks and gardens in the city, have suddenly, mysteriously been improved or cleaned up. DC Parks & Recreation, local environmental groups, and other likely culprits all deny responsibility, though certainly celebrate some good news in the midst of the strife of the Blackout. No further information is known about the mystery janitor, but Washington is grateful for small miracles.

POLICE NEWS

DCPD, and in point of fact, FEMA, The National Guard,  and other Federal agencies as well, have been completely overwhelmed, in what has grown to be the most devastating, puzzling and infamous blackout in American history.

The blackout of 2004, now well over a week into it, has left hundreds dead, thousands injured, many without medical care; incalculable property damage, and the capital of the United States crippled and begging for terrorist attack at a time when the political clime is ripe for such things as it is. Law Enforcement and Utility personnel could not solve it; just as mysteriously as it began... it was over, leaving a wake of destruction and further ugliness perpetuated by the people upon them fellow man, the likes of which rival any World War.

To post every bit of looting, petty larceny, and other pocket crimes that Washingtonians have shamefully effected upon their own, would take the entire paper, and while perhaps a handful might be solved by the information being made public, it is but a drop in the bucket to the greater wound this tragedy has cut into the heart of our fair nation.

We here at the Post implore all of you still in the DC area to stop using this disaster as license to mistreat and abuse your neighbors, lest things reach a point of no return. Let us be grateful this event has ended, and return to civilization as best as we can, as soon as we can.

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

GOSSIP COLUMN

AS THE STOMACH TURNS: The Style Staff have been devoting numerous man hours assisting our co-workers in hard news as The Post, like every other business crippled by the 2004 Blackout, struggles to maintain itself and continue to function.

All entertainment venues in Washington were dark to the public, save occasional, impromptu openings geared more to community service than profit. Many, unfortunately, were also targets for looters, squatters and vandals.

Most of those well-known to this column hopefully had the good sense to leave town for a while, especially any foreign nationals; though disturbingly, some are still unaccounted for.

We are happy to report that several well-known Washingtonians have been accounted for; though in truth, it is cause to celebrate every single resident who has survived this tragedy. In that vein, the Staff has decided that our next column will be devoted to searches: those looking to find missing people, and those looking to be found and reunited. Also, if you are an entertainment venue or entity of any nature or size, and you want to report that you are definitely reopening, or if you must report that you are too damaged to be open, we will be happy to share either news with the public.

Please phone or mail your entries to The Washington Post's auxiliary office in Potomac, MD.

(OOC NOTE: PC's are highly encouraged to send in entries to be posted here. This is a key RP opportunity - don't waste it. If you want to post and don't know what to say, ask Ice for help.)

HELL FREEZES OVER IN BOSTON: THE RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES! -- Boston, MA -- ST. LOUIS -- In the baseball-crazed region of New England, they will no longer cuss about mythical curses. Red Sox players will no longer be force-fed history lessons on the generations of championship futility that preceded them. The heartbreak is officially over, thanks to a historic odyssey that arguably now earns top-shelf status as the biggest story in the history of Boston sports.

The entire culture of the Boston Red Sox changed Wednesday night at Busch Stadium, as the tradition-laden franchise carted home its sixth World Series championship, but first since 1918.
That's right, the 86-year drought officially came crashing down after the Sox completed their four-game sweep of the Cardinals with a 3-0 victory in Game 4.

"This is what we've all been waiting for," said Sox general manager Theo Epstein, the pride of Brookline, Mass., who built this historic team at the age of 30. "We can die happy. I just hope everyone out there who has been rooting for the Red Sox the last 86 years is enjoying this as much as we are. We're coming home to see you soon."

 

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Conglomerate's Corporate Execs Vanish!

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Market watchers and certain law-enforcement officials are looking for the missing directors of international conglomerate Pentex Holdings, sources say. Franklin Rubin, subdivision director of finances for Pentex, was reportedly the only person seen leaving a Board of Directors meeting called two days ago at an executive suite in the downtown Marriott. When hotel staff entered the suite later that evening, they found none of the other executives present. Rubin’s office declined to comment.

‘Sea Monster’ Seen in New York’s East River

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK — Police dispatchers last night responded to over 300 calls reporting a “monster” by the Manhattan side of the East River. Various reports describe the “monster” as having tentacles and being of indiscernible size.

 

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Norway police quiz suspect in 'The Scream' theft -- OSLO - Norwegian police have identified a suspect for the first time in a so far fruitless search for gunmen who stole Edvard Munch's masterpiece "The Scream" several months ago, police said Thursday.
"We had a person in for questioning with the status of suspect," assistant police chief Iver Stensrud told Reuters. "He still has that status." The man, who denied involvement, was freed without charge after questioning Wednesday.
It was the first time police have publicly called anyone a suspect since two gunmen walked into the Munch Museum on Aug. 22, pulled "The Scream" and "Madonna" from the wall in front of terrified tourists, and escaped in a car driven by a third man.
There are rumors circulating in the art world that one of the two stolen Edvard Munch paintings has been seriously damaged.
A published report Norway in says the "Maddona" had been ruined during the theft in August from the Munch Museum in Oslo.
The "Maddona" and a version of Munch's most famous painting, "The Scream," are still missing.
Police confirm they've heard the rumor, but they say there's no solid evidence about the painting's condition.

Royal Speech Sparks Vigilantism

LONDON, ENGLAND — In a pronouncement made from the Tower of London to address the fears resulting from a series of recent purported “hauntings,” the Prince of Wales last night called on the population to take to the streets to defend their nation. “Britannia will always protect us,” he said, “but she hungers.” In the aftermath, dozens of vigilante gangs built wicker men all over the city. Hundreds of looters and vandals were captured and imprisoned inside the effigies and burned to death. Sources inside Buckingham Palace say that the strange pronouncement was written in consultation with a previously unknown society called the Harbingers of Avalon, who some claim are tied to the Knights Templar.

‘Vampires’ Attack Parisian Crowd

PARIS, FRANCE — Members of a self-professed vampire gang known as the Sabbat demonstrated the supernatural powers at their command last night. Before an assembled crowd at a political rally, the Sabbat vampires proclaimed their superiority over the “kine,” and chaos ensued as the vampires attempted to feed on human blood. Those present reported manifest “tentacles of darkness,” the vampires moving at superhuman speed and exhibitions of superhuman strength, such as tearing a fire hydrant from its moorings and flipping a police cruiser. Whether this was an elaborate prank or not remains to be seen.

South Pole Rocked by Earthquake

MCMURDO COASTAL STATION, ANTARCTICA — A powerful earthquake, measuring 8.3 on the Richter scale, yesterday shook the polar plateau of Antarctica, opening a crevasse some 30 miles long and half a mile wide. A Russian scientific team crossing the plateau at the time is reported lost. In related news, stories are trickling in from across the Southern Hemisphere of people experiencing strange dreams the night of the quake, dreams of a shadowy figure emerging from frozen ground.