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(News graphic & background designed by Nysie)
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LOCAL NEWS |
NATIONAL NEWS | |
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GHOST TOUR SLATED FOR HALLOWEEN
This year's event will be a guided and costumed tour of the John Carlyle House in Alexandria.
The historic Carlyle House was completed in
1753 by Scottish merchant John Carlyle for his bride, Sarah Fairfax of
Belvoir, member of one of the most prestigious families in colonial
Virginia. Their home quickly became a center of social and political
life in Alexandria and gained a foothold in history when British
General Braddock made the mansion his
headquarters
Tickets are available through WBDE radio, occult bookstore The Final Word, and Ticketmaster outlets.
DARK ASGARD TO HOST MASQUERADE BALL FOR HALLOWEEN PARTY AT DC's DARKEST SPOT
His performance in 2006 was a surprise, as
the only officially-announced act had been The Duchess. But, after an
intermission, one of the Duchess's zombie-costumed musicians took center
stage and started singing. It turned out to be none other than Loki
himself, who moments before had been wearing a different costume. A large number of DC's brightest, most beautiful and interesting luminaries are expected to be there, including Loki himself and his current sometimes girlfriend, GWU law student and Final Word Barista, Felicity Duckworth. Loki, Dark Asgard's owner, is slated as the main act, with newcomer band Ivy League scheduled to open, featuring freshman musicians singer Ivy and drummer Azazel. General admission tickets are on sale at Dark Asgard and through Ticketron outlets, and VIP invitations have been issued for this event.
POLICE NEWS
GWU LIBRARY DISTURBANCE SAID TO BE HAUNTING
NORTHWEST -- Campus
Police
The library was largely unoccupied, but night crew maintenance and library staff have reported several incidents in the past of strange noises, lights, and even alleged apparitions in the older parts of the library before. One staffer, who refused to file a report or even be identified on record, was overheard saying that a blond man was terrorizing her in the stacks. She did not know his identity, and he soon left the building.
NATIONAL ARBORETUM TRESPASSING
SOUTHEAST -- The National
Arboretum Park Security has reported
The United States National
Arboretum is an arboretum (a botanical garden containing
living collections of primarily woody plants intended at
least partly for scientific study) in Washington, D.C.,
operated by the United States Department of Agriculture's
Agricultural Research Service as a division of the Henry A.
Wallace Beltsville Agricultural Research Center. It was
established in 1927 by an act of Congress after a campaign
by USDA Chief Botanist Frederick Vernon Coville.
MYSTERIOUS CREATURE SIGHTED IN ROCK CREEK PARK
NORTHWEST -- A strange,
humanoid figure was encountered by a Federal
Marshal Redfeather identified himself as an officer of the law, and ordered the man to stay where he was, with no response. The man rushed Redfeather, his skin and clothing slimy and somewhat rotten, and covered in sores. Soon after contact with the creature, Redfeather reported experiencing a sort of temporary paralysis and had to be removed from the scene by a companion. The trespassers fled as well. CSI Officers returned to the scene the following evening to investigate further. They have ruled out animals as the largest known to inhabit the Park are deer and occasional cougar. There is no real presence of bear or other larger mammals in the park. Tracks leading from the scene ended in a nearby stream. The investigation is inconclusive at this time. Rangers have also reported an increase in the number of after-dark trespassers on Park property in the last few weeks, increasing closer to Halloween.
BARFIGHT CLOSES LOCAL PUB FOR REPAIRS
NORTHEAST -- Police were called to respond to a violent disturbance at the Hell or Connaught Irish Pub in Northeast, near the border with Chinatown on 7th Street. Witnesses say an unidentified white male, appearing to be in his 20's, short, wiry, with a vaguely Asian look to his eyes and nose, black hair and eyes, wearing jeans and a black motorcycle jacket with red accents, was taunting other customers, especially staff and any who seemed to respond to anti-Irish epithets. He was heard yelling, "Hey, let's hear it for jolly old England, eh? Long live the Queen!" and . The man was seen harassing dance therapist Bell Neveu for several minutes, and a heated argument ensued until she flagged down a member of the wait-staff to intervene. The waiter was told by the man, "Yeah. I called her a self righteous c_nt. You should probably throw me out." The waiter offered to call the man a taxi, but he refused, stating, "That won't be necessary. I think I'll just go insult some other patrons and steal food before I go. How's that sound?" The man was asked to leave by management, to whom he responded, "I am behaving like an a--hole. Kick me the f_ck out already, you weak-kneed sh_t!" A struggle ensued, disrupting the entire pub and causing extensive damage to the bar area and liquor supplies as the man evaded capture, sometimes moving at what was reported to be super-human speeds. As management forced him to the street, he exclaimed, "Eat sh_t and die, you Irish f_cks!" The Pub reportedly sustained several thousand dollars worth of interior damage and two broken bones on the bouncer staff, and has closed its doors for business to effect repairs. Hell or Connaught is named for the ultimatum which Oliver Cromwell gave the displaced native Irish when he colonized the island in the 1600s.
SECOND DISTURBANCE AT GWU LIBRARY MERELY ROWDY STUDENTS
NORTHWEST -- Campus police were called out again to Gelman Library at GWU to investigate a disturbance on the balcony. Witnesses say that there was a heated argument of some kind going on between a group of kids, a couple of student athlete's who were mouthing off to the group, and musician Loki, who was at the library on personal business. Some sexual epithets and threats were exchanged, but the altercation and gathering broke up before Campus Security could arrive. No charges were filed, and other than Loki, none of the group were identified.
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LONG ISLAND LOLITA RETURNS
NEW YORK
CITY -- Before Lindsay Lohan, there was
the Original Long Island Lolita, Amy Fisher. Amy was convicted of the
1992 shooting of Mary Jo Buttafuoco, after carrying on a long-running
affair with Mary Jo’s husband, Joey, as an underage high school student
in Long Island, New York. A sex tape of the one-time teen mistress and
her estranged husband, Lou Bellera, has made its way to a Los Angeles
porn distributor and could hit the Net in a matter of days.
“I was told she was a willing participant at
the time it was made, as a private video with her husband,” Krieff said.
“She’s disgusted. I’m disgusted by it, too, the whole genre. I can’t
believe in the United States of America things like this can be
released.”
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
SEX MAKES BRAIN GROW Sex raises the level of a hormone thought to promote new brain cells. This suggests that sex may treat Huntington's disease.
CALGARY --
A hormone stimulated by sex may be used to
repair brain
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: KITTY'S KOLUMN
Entertainment and Gossip From regular columnist Kitty Whittier
Boo! It's time to see who's been good little boys and ghouls lately! Seems like it's time to play musical chairs in love land again. Our favorite creature of the night, Loki the luscious, was seen doing the Monster Mash with La Nouveau herself at his haven of hedonism, Dark Asgard.
Only days later, sources spot his royalness in less scandalous circumstances with the ever-studious and respectable Felicity, actually braving bringing her to his playpen in Southeast, rather than sequester her at the latte machine away from his harem. Just a couple of days after that, the Prince of Ponce was seen shepherding his main lady fair onto a plane to New York for an overnighter, because apparently we have no interesting stores to shop at in Washington. Nor tattoo parlors, I hear.
While the cat was away, however, things continued to remain interesting back home, with the usual social mix and match going on. MizNewVoh was as usual, out on the dance floor in her stark white, kinda hard to miss in the sea of black on black on black that is the uniform of the tragic children. Soon nearby was Ivy, the punky pixie slated to open for Loki this month. After a few minutes, Ivy vacates the floor for the company of some Fabio looking character in a booth, leaving Ma Bell chatting up some tattooed bald guy with an eye patch, over at the bar. Spooky fella too I hear, kinda has that whole "I'm secretly Charles Manson" vibe to him. After a few minutes of this, her and her new chat pal head to Ivy's table, where she proceeds to chat up Ivy's date, and suddenly Ivy leaves the three of them alone, where they seem not to miss her at all for quite some time.
Just a few days later, the pirate punk was seen cavorting around Loki's playpen with Loki's personal Turkish Delight on call (the still mysterious unidentified Middle Eastern woman), and another very exotic looking model we have not seen with the usual suspects before that night. She was a tall, mixed race woman in black sequins, attractive in that almost artificial, too perfect way. They were doing their best to recreate the Lambada out on the dance floor, then went their separate ways. We will have to speak to Arthur Miller's, because apparently dancing is the key to the In Crowd of late.
And speaking of dogs... So Deion Sanders
PROTIP, Deion. Stop. Speaking. Now. Clearly you took one too many to the cranium during your already fading career. And Michael... no comment.
Somberly Yours, Kitty.
ADVICE COLUMN: Monica Garrett
Dear Monica,
I have been married for more
than 20 years, and my husband has always been an honest and
caring person to our children and me. He works in an office
with a woman 15 years his junior. She is divorced; they
became friends and spent a lot of time together.
Sometimes I feel like I am the
crazy one, but I know I'm not. Is it time for me to move on?
It is time for you to move on
-- to a marriage counselor. Where you go after that is up to
you. If your husband won't accompany you, then you should go
alone.
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ALEXANDRIA,
VA -- WBDE, The Blade, 93.1 FM announces
its Second Annual Ghost
Tour, with guest host DJ Nyx of The Midnight Hour.
in
1755. Braddock summoned five colonial
governors to
meet there to plan the early campaigns of the French and Indian War. 
SOUTHEAST --
As was to be expected after last years
successful event, Dark Asgard is hosting its second, and now rightfully
annual, Halloween Masquerade Ball. The ball will held immediately
following the other new tradition in spooky Washington, the WBDE Ghost
Tour on Halloween Evening
were
called to respond to George Washington University's Melvin
Gelman Library at 21st and H Streets, NW, when staffers
reported hearing several loud, terrified shrieks from the
second floor book stacks, late at night last week. 
several
incidents of visitors trespassing after the 5:00 pm closing
time, especially in the Asian Valley area. No charges have
been filed, but security has been increased after hours.
Marshal
and several trespassers he was questioning after they were
discovered while he was nearby the Park, off-duty.
Redfeather was strolling near the park on personal time,
when he overheard a presence there. After investigating, and
initially preparing to escort a couple of harmless
trespassing picnickers off premises, the group was
approached by what appeared to be a man, but in such a
disheveled state as to be unidentifiable. The man appeared
to be crazed, and possibly under the influence of something,
due to his aggressive and incoherent behavior, as well as
his dirty physical condition. He lunged for the group with
arms outstretched, as if sleepwalking.
Amy
and Lou made the tape earlier this year, according to David Krieff, a TV
executive who has produced a currently shelved reality show starring
Amy, her ex-lover Joey Buttafuoco, and Buttafuoco’s ex-wife, Mary Jo
Buttafuoco. 
damage
caused by strokes, suggests breakthrough research at the University of
Calgary published today in the prestigious journal Science. 
Come
on Angelina! Brad's right--every kid should have a dog! If the National
Ledger is to be believed, Angelina's pissed at Brad. And why? Because he
wants to get a dog for their children! We all knew Angelina wasn't the
warmest person around, but preventing her own children from the enjoying
the love and companionship of a pet is simply cruel! According to an
insider, "Brad and Angelina have gone around and around about the dog
issue. Angelina feels there are too many issues precluding them from
getting a pet – they're always traveling, and the household staff would
end up caring for the animal." Just so we're clear -- their lifestyle
doesn't preclude them from adopting or having a dozen kids, but Angelina
thinks a pet is too much!? What kind of parent must she be if she'd
treat the kids worse than a dog?
published
a column in The News-Press on the whole Michael Vick dog trial, that
reads like it was written by a 10-year-old with no sense of right or
wrong. For example: "What a dog means to Vick might be a lot different
than what he means to you or I." True, a dog to me is a living being
with feelings, emotions, and the capacity for great caring. To Michael
Vick they're living pieces of meat whose torture, pain, and death are
cause for drinking, carousing, and a good time. "Some people kiss their
dogs on the mouth. Some people let their dogs eat from their plate. Some
people dress their dogs in suits more expensive than mine, if you can
believe that. And some people enjoy proving they have the biggest,
toughest dog on
the
street." Just to be clear, Deion believes all of the following fall into
the same classification: Kissing dogs on the mouth, eating with dogs,
dressing dogs, and slamming a dog to the ground with such force that the
dog's skull is crushed and he dies from trauma. "You're probably not
going to believe this, but I bet Vick loves the dogs that were the
biggest and the baddest." Yes, I believe Vick "loved" the dogs that were
the biggest and baddest. The others? He drowned, electrocuted, hung,
shot, and crushed to death. But hey, he really, really loved the dogs
that lived, so Deion says that's just fine. "It reminds me of when I
wore a lot of jewelry back in the day because I always wanted to have
the biggest chain or the biggest, baddest car. It
gives
you status." Yes, Deion is now comparing the torture and murder of
living creatures to wearing jewelry. Apparently, so long as a man with
big muscles, a small penis, and no brain can achieve "status" by
electrocuting or shooting a dog, it's okay to Deion. "The reason this is
turning into a three-ring circus is that baseball is boring, basketball
is months away, football is around the corner and we in the media don't
have a thing interesting to write about." No, Deion, the reason this has
become a media circus is 1) Michael Vick broke the law, and 2) his
actions are so offensive that any human being with a shred of decency is
outraged and horrified. 
