IC News 10-15-03

Local News Roundup

SOUTHEAST - WEB OF NIGHT PUBLICITY STUNT: Earlier this week, music nightclub "Web of Night" was forced to close its doors for several days, at one of the venue's busiest times of year, due to the aftermath of a possible promotional stunt gone very wrong.


Sources say that a young woman with short black hair was seen speaking to a member of the Berlin Death Metal Band "Totschlag" in the Web bar area, when some manner of altercation broke out between them. Witnesses say that suddenly a large chunk of the bar next to the musician disintegrated, as well as all of hers and his clothing. She then turned around and walked out of the bar, unmolested, unclothed and unharmed, simply leaving for points unknown.


The musician, later identified by Web staff from photos as frontman Gregor Blitzfaust of Totschlag (German, loosely translates to "Manslaughter"), appeared to have been badly injured in the process but did not seek medical attention. Web staff, perhaps going along with the stunt, pretended not to know what was happening, as the audience went crazy and many patrons left the club, thinking the stunt to be real, at which point DCPD was summoned to investigate.


The Web is one of two venues remaining bidding for the premiere rights of "Exquisite Corpse: Death of an Angel", the violent new shock rock video by Marx Ingels  (the other being Philadelphia's "Nocturne" at Club Shampoo). Exquisite Corpse has already received numerous threats of restrictions on when and where it can be aired, due to its graphic content. Sources speculate that the pair contrived the entire event to not only give shock publicity to the Web's bid to premiere the video,  but to give a kick in the leather pants to Totschlag's under-publicized American Debut at Web of Night Baltimore, and soon to be playing a new neighboring club called "Rabble" in Southeast DC.


The woman is still not positively identified due to the venue being poorly lit and her features fairly common amongst club-goers (Black hair, pale skin, heavy makeup), though some club go'ers insist she was a local Web regular nicknamed "Block 10" (purportedly a Nazi Death Camp reference). However, other witnesses who frequent the club insist that the woman in question is far more attractive, and that the girl known as Block 10 had a significant amount of tattoos and piercings covering her body. The woman in the Web had nothing, not even scars; perfect, smooth, unblemished "virgin skin," devoid of the subtle scarring that one would typically see if body modifications were removed. According to music news insiders who have seen sneak clips, the woman in the Web does, however, bear a subtle resemblance to the "Angel of Death" that performs opposite Marx Ingels in the new video, lending credence to the concept that the entire event was staged publicity.


Neither Web co-owner MC Nomad, nor Marx Ingel's, nor Gregor Bliztfaust or their spokespersons were available for comment on the incident. The Web closed its doors for 3 days to effect repairs to the building.




SOUTHWEST - NUMEROUS HOMELESS MISSING: DCPD has received an overwhelming amount of phone calls, complaints and tips regarding a sudden rash of disappearances of homeless persons who frequented the Southwestern portion of the City, especially around the monuments and government buildings. Due to the indigent nature of the victims, it is difficult to determine the exact number and identities of the missing, but several other "street people" have discreetly come forward as a last ditch effort to get help finding friends or even family members. Some witnesses say a deformed man or monster sprang from the bushes and abducted their friends. Police are inclined to dismiss these stories as hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation, malnutrition and drinking, all common amongst the indigent.



NORTHWEST - COUNTRY CLUB KITCHEN FIRE: DC Fire personnel responded to a report of a kitchen fire at the trendy restaurant and club, Capital Hill, earlier this week. The crew chief stated that it turned out to be a small, contained fire on one of the grills which had an excess of grease build up due to a heavy workload involved in catering a party the prior evening. The blaze was easily controlled and extinguished as soon as the firefighters arrived. Patrons were evacuated as a precautionary measure  but no one was injured, including cooking staff.




WASHINGTON, DC - AMBROSE TRIBULATIONS: Up and coming singer Meghan Ambrose is reported to have suffered a nervous breakdown during the finalization of her debut album, "The 12th Night," produced by popular darkwave singer Loki. Studio spokespeople are tight lipped about the particulars, but sources say that Miss Ambrose collapsed and was hospitalized briefly after an all-night marathon in the studio putting hurried finishing touches on the album so that it could be released.


The album, finally released in Mid-October, seems to be selling well in its debut weeks, though what effects this news will have on sales is yet to be determined. Miss Ambrose is said to have recovered and is recuperating further at home, awaiting news of her debut sales. A promotional appearance at Web of Night with Loki was postponed for health reasons.